SYDNEY—In the early morning hours of September 28, 2021, General Donald Trump gathered his troops on the beaches of Hawaii and gave an inspiring speech to the men who were about to heroically sacrifice their lives to liberate Australia.
The assault is being called the largest amphibious invasion in history, as Trump gathered his supporters to help free the people of Australia from fascist rule.
“Listen up, men,” Trump said in the grey dawn as they prepared to embark on their boats and LCVPs. “You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade—the greatest, maybe ever. It’s a fantastic, tremendous crusade. It was one of mine, one of my best ideas.”
“We will accept nothing less than full victory. We won’t surrender like that pathetic loser Joe Biden. What an idiot! Good Luck!”
“We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the outback, we shall fight in the desert and in the opera house, we shall fight no matter how big their spiders and kangaroos are; we shall never surrender!”
“Tally ho, boys!”
Cheers went up from the gathered freedom fighters, and they embarked toward Sydney to liberate the people of Australia. Unfortunately, Trump got a toe cramp as soon as he hit the beaches and was given a deferment so he didn’t have to fight.
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