State Regrets Hiring Lionel Hutz To Prosecute Kyle Rittenhouse

KENOSHA, WI—As the prosecution rests its case in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial, state officials expressed regret over hiring lawyer Lionel Hutz to lead the prosecution. 

“We were told he was one of the best,” said the mayor of Kenosha, Bob Kenosha. “Some guy down at Moe’s Tavern told us he was the man for the job. I’m feeling pretty disappointed right now.”

According to sources, Hutz brought in video evidence of Rittenhouse’s innocence and coached his witnesses to testify that they pointed a gun at the defendant first. 

“Apparently, Lionel Hutz thought he was on the defense team,” said Mayor Kenosha. “We tried to tell him he was actually the prosecutor but it was too late. Then he tried to stop everything by saying ‘objection’ over and over and then tried to distract the jury by removing his pants.”

In the end, Hutz moved for a “bad court thingy”—which apparently meant a mistrial—but was denied by the judge. 


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