Poll Finds American Public Trusts Empty Podium Over Jen Psaki

WASHINGTON, D.C.—A recent poll suggests Americans have more trust in White House press conferences ever since journalists have been posing questions to the empty podium rather than Jen Psaki, who was recently infected with COVID-19.

“How does Biden plan to improve his poll numbers? Is there still hope for Biden’s excellent Build Back Better Plan?” shouted out reporters at the most recent press conference. 

The podium just stood there, silent and resolute. 

“I just believe the answers coming from that empty podium way more than anything from Jen Psaki,” said typical American, Bob Murka. “The podium’s answers have been 100% believable to me, versus 0% from the Press Secretary.”

Claims that the Biden Administration cannot be trusted have been called into question, however. Washington Post fact-checkers have rated the poll in question as False, stating that Jen Psaki has never lied and that the podium was actually a lectern. Additionally, Journalists from CNN have called for the podium to be replaced with a shrine to Psaki during her recovery.

Refreshingly, the podium did not respond to questions regarding these reports.

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