Outdated Stand-Up Comedy Replaced With Stand-Up Scolding

U.S.—After the terrorist attack of October 5th — the release of Dave Chappelle’s The Closer — many progressives have questioned the whole concept of stand-up comedy.

“There is just something so fascist about laughing,” said left-wing activist Jamie Nash. “And how privileged do you have to be to sit there and enjoy yourself when there are problems out there like climate change, racism, and people who don’t announce their pronouns?”

Now there is a movement to replace stand-up comedy with a new entertainment called “stand-up scolding.” Instead of a person standing on stage and trying to make people laugh, the person tries to make the audience feel bad and reflective.

“It’s so great,” said Joanna Griffith, who was attending a stand-up scolding special. “It’s like an evolution of what Hannah Gadsby started. These people are really laying into what everyone is doing wrong, and you don’t have to worry about anyone laughing at an underprivileged minority, because if anyone laughed at all, they’d probably be ripped apart by the crowd.”

“Why are you even here?” said one stand-up scolder to a crowd full of anguished faces. “You should at least have your phones out and be participating in online activism. And why is the temperature so nice in this building? Are they running the A/C? Does no one care about the planet?”

Stand-up scolders still have to deal with hecklers, though, who usually yell things like, “You’re not penitent enough!” The common response is for the person on stage to hang his/her/their head and apologize.


In our latest video, watch as two kids try to choose a Halloween costume that doesn’t offend anyone:


For more videos, subscribe to our Youtube channel today!


Read more at Babylon Bee

Scroll to Top