U.S.—In a brilliant move, Governor Greg Abbott has tricked dozens of Democrat legislators into leaving Texas. This is leading other governors across the country to ask Texas for advice on how they can get Democrats to leave their states as well.
“Arizona is a beautiful state,” said Governor Doug Ducey, “but it has one problem: it’s full of Democrats. Is there some way we can just get them to—I dunno—leave? Why can’t they live in California or Cuba, or somewhere they’ll fit in better?”
The governor of Georgia has also stated he will be flying to Texas to learn all of Governor Abbott’s secrets to making Democrats go somewhere else.
“We hope to follow the great example set by Texas,” said Georgia Governor Brian Kemp. “Democrats have this nasty habit of destroying their states like a plague of locusts, turning it into a burnt husk of death and decay, and then moving to another Republican state to feast on the prosperity built by higher quality people than they’ll ever be, then importing their depraved and inhuman policies as they consume all the wealth and happiness of the state like some sort of demonic chupacabra, until they finally bring a once-great American state to its knees, drowning in a cesspool of poverty and corruption, at which point they spread their locust wings and fly to the next state… what was I talking about? I can’t remember. Oh yeah—how do we get Democrats to leave?”
At the time of publishing, 32 other states have announced comprehensive “make the Democrat politicians go somewhere else” plans, which they hope to have fully implemented by the end of this year.
According to reports, Texas is now a blissful and prosperous utopia, only 12 hours after Democrat lawmakers left in their private charter plane.
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