Masks Thrown In The Pacific Mutate Into Giant Monster To Terrorize California

CALIFORNIA—Carelessly discarded face masks have accumulated in the darkness of the eastern Pacific Ocean. In the depths, the great heap of pollution has slowly formed together over time, and through its immense suffering, somehow achieved sentience.

The massive bloat of soggy cloth and toxic plastics have become intertwined with the ocean’s other pollutants, becoming a terrible, hulking behemoth. Full of wrath and betrayal, the newly conscious, monstrous glob has emerged from its dwelling and has started laying waste to everything in its path. 

“Nothing we fire at it is even touching it!” yelled one frightened Army officer. “It’s not even slowing down and it’s coming right for us! It’s… it’s…. AAAHHRGHH!”

Despite concentrated efforts to contain and deter the mask-made abomination, the creature is only becoming more powerful. As it crushed its way up the coastline, the thousands of discarded masks and face shields littering the ground were added to the beast’s number. 

Soon even LA’s tallest towers were dwarfed by the swollen, mask-filled leviathan as it continued to roll through California’s major cities, leaving destruction in its wake. 

At publishing time, President Biden ordered that California be evacuated permanently and that the state belongs to the watery colossus now.


Read more at Babylon Bee

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