How To Pay Off Your Crushing Student Debts Once You’ve Already Sold Your Non-Vital Organs
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Hey there, college grad! Are you still struggling to “adult” and pay off all your student debt? Have you already sold all the organs you don’t really need for top dollar on the black market?
If you still have debt remaining after that, here are ten great methods for finishing off those loans:
1) Discreetly arrange to sell your friend’s organs: Do you have a friend with no college debt? Then they don’t need that kidney!
2) Sell back all your old textbooks for $8.52: Hey, that’s $8.52 you didn’t have before!
3) Start your own university and raise prices every year: Simple as that.
4) Become a famous serial killer, then sell your diploma to one of those weirdo serial killer memorabilia collectors on eBay: You can also be the star of a famous serial killer podcast and sell the rights to Netflix!
5) Make meth in an RV: A tried and true method of making as much as Jeff Bezos while working part-time hours. You can’t go wrong here.
6) Co-found BLM: Racial division is one of the easiest ways to untold wealth–and multiple houses.
7) Steal $949 from every Walgreens in San Francisco: Just make sure you bring a calculator so you don’t accidentally steal $950. Then it becomes a crime.
8) Grow your hair out really long and sell it to make wigs: Just 12 months of growth can help you pay off one month’s payment. Easy!
9) LuLaRoe fashion retailer: You can make millions selling buttery-soft leggings to all your Facebook friends!
10) Start a revolution, topple society: Drag the aristocrats into the street and behead them! Burn down all the cities! Then maybe you’ll find someone who cares about your film studies degree! …Right?
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