HEAVEN—Through a spokesangel, the Almighty God of all creation confirmed today that He invented farting just because “it’s hilarious.”
“Yeah, God confirmed it a little earlier today,” said the spokesangel. “We were all asking him questions like why He saved mankind even though they’re really stupid and why He invented the tarantula wasp. Then one guy—Gabriel, I think it was—asked why He invented farting. He confirmed it was because it’s just really, really funny.”
Theologians commented on the revelation, confirming that God has a sense of humor and just loves cracking up as He watches people fart in elevators, kids fart at inappropriate times, and husbands fart in bed with their wives and then try to trap them under the covers. While dumb atheists have been trying to come up with some kind of naturalistic explanation for the phenomenon, it’s now been confirmed that it’s just because God loves humor and wants everyone to lighten up once in a while.
“But seriously, stop with the covers thing,” said one heavenly spokesperson. “What’s wrong with you people?!”
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